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Traumatic experiences (especially insecure attachments growing up) can mess with our identity, making us feel damaged, broken, and unlovable, thinking WE are messed up. But the truth is that WHAT HAPPENED to us was messed up, and we got through it, making us resilient, not destroyed. One of the most beautiful things about attachment research is the very solid data that we can heal our relational wounds. Our lives can begin with insecure connection, and then we can process that pain and learn a s
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